A Leg Up

This blog is a lot of things, but I never expected that it would become what it has. This post is about just that: the unexpected creation of reality.

A few months ago, I posted about Tetris, one of my favorite games. Now, I'm not one for re-runs, but that post got me thinking about the viability of writing about Tetris in an academic setting. Due to the connections I drew to Confucian ideology of ritual and instinct, I pitched it to my philosophy professor and in the end wrote about this very issue for my final research paper in Confucianism and Virtue Ethics this past semester.

This is as much about the willingness of my professor to allow such a discussion take place, but because of the time I had spent composing my thoughts into writing on this blog, it made it easy to pitch this as a meaningful analogy and literal example of Confucian ritual. Because it was about something I care about deeply, the paper was engrossing to write and I think it turned out pretty well. There has actually been some scientific studies on the effects of Tetris linking it to brain development, specifically thickening the cerebral cortex. It's even been intimated as a "cognitive vaccine" for post-traumatic stress disorder. I would never have discovered this had I not been able to dip my toes in the waters of this blog.

Now, there's a lot of writing going on here at LegLeg, much of it is incredibly relevant to what's going on in popular culture, and it could very well serve as a jumping off point for further more "legitimate" forms of written work. This is the proof. What began one night as a kind of jest has become a consistent launching pad and work space for thoughts rendered from the impenetrable granite that is the internet. It makes me think about what a blog is for, really. College students spend so much time thinking about what other people think, getting trained to think quicker, more broadly, more specifically, and with confidence. Is a blog in this context about escaping from the framework of imposed subjects in order to apply our new cerebral methodologies to what we want to think about?

Or maybe we're learning more from this forum than we think, and it's fueling thoughts that might not have coalesced had we not taken this opportunity to say whats up. In any case, I'm just expressing my gratitude to the series of tubes that we call home, it's given me a leg up.

 

circles of hell

My sophomore year at school was a dark time. I spent most of it either cooped up in my dormroom or in the darkroom trying to make pictures of walls that looked like this:

I only had a few allies, mainly two oversized Philips speakers and Limewire. So this is something of an ode to them. I felt like I was in the beginning of Clan In Da Front, when you can hear RZA's voice from some middle distance, reverbed to high hell, belting, "UP FROM THE 36 CHAMBERRSSSSS" as if he were caught in some dungeon, currently escaping. That's the place where I was: dungeon-chamber #36, surrounded by empty walls, in the ad libs before the music even starts.

Wu-Tang was something of a lifeline, so I made a project of systematically combing through Wu affiliate albums. So this is something of an ode to Wu. The further out from the Wu core I got, the darker the music seemed to get. And then I found Killah Priest's Heavy Mental ('98), orbiting in the Wu solar system somewhere out near Pluto. Priest got on the map with a feature verse on "B.I.B.L.E." off GZA's undisputed classic Liquid Swords, but it was his solo albums that really reached out and grabbed me by the throat. See I found something in those early tracks that I identified with: deep thudding bass drums, crunchy snares, and melody samples that sounded like murderers whistling in empty alleys or Egyptian snake-charmers.

Guns, shootouts and crack sales, black males in packed jails, trapped in hell, no peace, cold streets, surrounded by po-lice this whole week, buildings with no heat, low lights and gaspipes with slow leaks, dog fights, lowlifes, throw dice the whole night...

Now I'm not gonna front-- I'm a white dude that grew up in a well-off NJ suburb, in comfort. I don't profess to know the experience above. I have not been systematically oppressed based on my race, I didn't grow up with drugs on the corner, or face economic depravity in the form of an an under-cared for housing development. These are issues that Priest speaks so eloquently about, but they are not my story. And yet, I turned to these recordings when I was depressed, and found music that spoke to me.

Underneath Priest's covert politics is a raw emotion, unfiltered by notions of popular culture or what rap music "should be." Priest puts the inherent conflict and violence of personhood under a spotlight, expounding on it as a means of catharsis. His method involves synthesizing contemporary stories of plight with ancient imagery derived from mythology, history, religion, etc... This world of antiquity acts as a vector through which the MC interfaces with the present. In other words, the violence and zealotry of, say, a Mayan sacrifice, has a particular relevance to the world Priest encounters around him:

I saw Bill Clinton, Ronald Reagan, and George Bush

Barefoot suckin from the titties of a wolf

Upon the brazen altar, six men

Offer their only daughter/ splashin holy water

I ran for the camcorders, now I'm plagued with curses

I roam the Earth's surface, snatchin purses

Allergic to Catholic Churches, what's the purpose?

Religious worship is worthless

I visit ancient sanctuaries, where the saints were married

But now they buried/ Cause of Satan's fury

I faced the jury

Held in court, like Christ nailed to a cross

Confront my knowledge, like Christ in front of Pontius Pilate

Days of violence, standing in a haunted palace

The government wants my wallet

(From "If You Don't Know")

And this worked for me. It spoke to pain, pressure, politics... the things that were weighing me down, and will weigh me down again. He seemed to understand the feeling of a restless desert search, pocked with mirages of success, friendship, $, love. So I turned the volume up, despite the complaints from hallmates. I shut the door. I did push-ups. I drove around with the windows up. And things started to turn, a slow viscous stirring in the soul maybe. Or just better housing and better friends. Or maybe just a little Killah Priest. So this is an ode to him.